elizabeth

Because I don't trust him. Because no is a complete sentence. Because I tried for ten years, from ages six to sixteen, to get my father to pay attention to me, and it never worked. Because I get to take care of myself first. Because I don't owe him a chance to prove he isn't going to hurt me again. Because I'm happier living with his absence than I ever was with his presence. Because I don't believe he's capable of having a relationship with me where I feel respected. Because I am tired of this being my important story. Because no other relationship in my life has left me damaged in so many ways as this one. Because if he didn't want to lose me as an adult, he should have treated me better as a child. Because I am not his weapon against my mother. Because I don't have to help him sustain his narrative any more. Because someone who speaks ill of people I love to me is not someone I trust to love me.

Because I have survived him. I am done.