(no subject)

Well, if RaceFail '09 hadn't amply demonstrated it, I learned today in group therapy just how badly defensiveness acts as a response.

Someone decided that she was leaving, and then when people — including the therapists — tried to express their feelings, she got insulted and defensive and there was shouting and I honestly tried to connect, to listen, to understand, but I think she wanted to leave angry, she wanted to leave justified.

So I'm bewildered and hurt (this was the person who kept talking about how much more experience she had than the rest of us, and who kept giving advice instead of opening up conversations, I am not in therapy for freakin' advice, if I want advice, Ann Landers is just a postage stamp away) and my good mood from a successful day has evaporated and I just want to watch some comfort TV and eat a delicious salad and take a hot shower so I collapse into sleep as easily as I can hope to.

There was a conversation with C., this morning, when I got an assignment of something really fun to do; I even said I would do it after group tonight, that I would look forward to it, and while I was in session, it ...vanished. I never thought of it.

Maybe I don't want to pollute C. with group.