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It has been bugging me, more and more, of late, that I am not writing. I have a novel in progress, two more waiting in the wings, a triple dozen poems that I want to revise and publish, half a dozen pieces of fanfic I want to write, a podfic I am dying to get my teeth into. All I am writing is nonfiction -- blog posts, policy, work recommendations, essays and papers.
I am not a nonfiction writer, by temperament, inclination, or training. I miss writing the way I would miss breathing.
I thought Dr. L got that, got that writing is so deeply a part of my identity that very nearly everything comes second to it.
Last week, I talked a little bit about feeling starved as a person, that I don't feel like myself with all of my creative work on the back burner, and she said that now is when I need to be working on social skills and my education — that writing will always be there. And, well, yes, but...I felt more than a little dismissed. This is who I am. It makes me happy.
I don't want to think this is everything Joanna Russ talked about in How to Suppress Women's Writing. I don't. But — it hurts not to write. It hurts to keep pushing writing later in my calendar. When I do not write, I am a lesser person; it really comes down to that. I need to write to be my best possible self.
Why should I be shut off, discouraged, from something that makes me better? I need my therapist to have my back in my attempts to be my best self, in my process of learning what works for me as a person, as the person I want to be. And right now, I am not sure she does.
I am not a nonfiction writer, by temperament, inclination, or training. I miss writing the way I would miss breathing.
I thought Dr. L got that, got that writing is so deeply a part of my identity that very nearly everything comes second to it.
Last week, I talked a little bit about feeling starved as a person, that I don't feel like myself with all of my creative work on the back burner, and she said that now is when I need to be working on social skills and my education — that writing will always be there. And, well, yes, but...I felt more than a little dismissed. This is who I am. It makes me happy.
I don't want to think this is everything Joanna Russ talked about in How to Suppress Women's Writing. I don't. But — it hurts not to write. It hurts to keep pushing writing later in my calendar. When I do not write, I am a lesser person; it really comes down to that. I need to write to be my best possible self.
Why should I be shut off, discouraged, from something that makes me better? I need my therapist to have my back in my attempts to be my best self, in my process of learning what works for me as a person, as the person I want to be. And right now, I am not sure she does.
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i recommend that you make time for writing! set aside time, because your sanity is so important and the things we love to do are part of that. put an hour or two of writing into your calendar, and make it a priority.
i also think it's kind of funny to say that "writing will always be there" if you're being told to put it on the back burner. where does this person think "there" is? because i'm pretty sure when i think about the idea of writing always being "there", i think about how it's my friend. how it soothes me and gives me life. it's "there" for me, it's "there" to fall back on and give me strength. it's "there" when i need escape, distraction, comfort. ugh!
how can someone expect you to work on things on the outside, without helping yourself on the inside!
i am irritated at just knowing that someone said that. huff. i feel the urge to put caps lock on and mash my keyboard.
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