copracat: Diana and Anne, three caps from the same scene in three horizontal panels, with hearts (better to have loved)
copracat ([personal profile] copracat) wrote in [personal profile] elizabeth 2011-04-08 11:55 pm (UTC)

If it helps to know this was my experience:

I'm connected via Facebook to a cousin from family I haven't seen in over 30 years. I heard via my sister that her dad died so I sent her a private message of the formulaic sympathy kind: I was so sorry to hear about your dad. My deepest sympathy to you and your mum.

And she sent me back a message saying thank you, hope you are doing okay. So that went well, I think.

Formal-ish messages are a good start because that let's them decide how much they want to respond, you're not requesting a level of family intimacy they're not ready for. Or maybe you're not ready for!

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